Tune In
"Listening is the doorway to effective communication."
I was channel surfing the other day, searching for a game on TV when I heard a reporter, being interviewed say:
"Listening is the doorway to effective communication."
I stopped searching for something else to watch because what he had to say had gotten my attention. This journalist was describing why he is always so welcome and well received when he travels throughout the world.
"People, from whatever their culture, people from whatever their class or social status, want to feel that their experiences and what they have to share, matters to other people."
Whether in peaceful or hostile surroundings, he attributes his success in gathering and reporting the news to his ability to recognize that each person has a unique and valuable experience, so that every event has to be viewed and then expressed from those many different perspectives.
Years ago, a friend of mine had just begun coaching basketball. And as part of his initial training he participated in a summer basketball instructional program which required him to coach kids from different parts of the world.
He was assigned to coach a number of these players.
I remember him expressing his frustration with the way that these "other" kids played, citing that their approach to basketball was totally "foreign" to him.
The first few times that he coached these "foreigners" he found himself resistant to whatever they were doing on the court. He would complain to me about their "run and gun" style of play, which they demonstrated every time they got possession of the ball.
Because this "run and gun" style was not the way my buddy learned to approach the game, as far as he was concerned, he was right and they were not.
Consequently, the team wasn't winning any games and they definitely weren't having any fun.
Several days into the program, as part of the regular daily activities, the teams would eat dinner together. While it was customary for the players to eat with players and the coaches to eat with the coaches, on this particular day, my buddy found himself without a place to sit down. As he searched around the dining hall the only seat that he would find available was between two of "runnin' and gunnin' kids from that other country.
Damn! He didn't want to sit there, but he was tired and he was hungry, and so he reluctantly sat down between the two.
Before meal time was over he engrossed in deep in conversation with his two new friends. He had been listening to them share about themselves and their lives; he enjoyed learning about who these young men really were.
He "sat and listened" and he was fascinated by what they had to offer, discovering that the way that they played basketball was as a result of the fact that they had been great soccer players.
Because he had listened he was able to discover that they had a unique and valuable experience and he was reminded of their human side, and this allowed for them to begin to communicate on and off the court -
effectively.
That’s my two cents (for whatever it’s worth),
Auguste Roc
auguste@danaroc.com
